Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Fred Perry and Stüssy in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently. Fred, you represent the true old school of streetwise style, born on the tennis court and still a standard at Wimbledon, but claimed by both mods and skins as their own. Your appeal endures eternally. Stüssy, you are younger, brighter, messier; more rad than trad. You came up in California with graffiti-print tshirts and built a global empire by bringing together surfers, skaters, and backpack hiphop heads, and teaching them all about graphic design. Into this holy estate these two brands present now come to be joined.

May this union be blessed with offspring in classic shapes. May polo shirts and button-ups be done in a so-Cal hombre plaid. May that buttonup have a slim fit and full box pleat, as well as the back collar button sought by connoisseurs. May the tones be hushed; slate blue, gray, and black. May both your logos grace a simple, well-cut tshirt. May there be a varsity jacket; may its sleeves be of the finest leather; and may it be made in Japan.

If any person can show just cause why Fred Perry and Stussy may not be joined together--let them speak now or forever hold their peace. Now let us have a good vibe and live clean.

Written by Pete Anderson

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